When I got there, I texted him to say I was waiting outside, and when I saw him I started waving like a doofus. He looked right past me. Later he confessed that the bathing-suit cover-up that I was wearing as a dress — which I had bought with him the year before for a beach trip — was the only way he knew it was actually me. It was a stressful time in my life: I was going through a bad breakup, work was tough, and a bedbug infestation pretty much depleted all of my savings. I got really sick, and my doctor put me on Prednisone. It happened fast.
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I was at a friend's birthday party at a bar when I saw my future boyfriend Brian from across the room, talking to the birthday boy. Brian was the type of guy I spent most of high school and college and my entire adult life pining after and never getting: slim, with dark hair and glasses, his jeans torn in all the best places. He had a beautiful mouth that was excitedly saying things I couldn't hear, but was making everyone around him laugh. If I had still been at my heaviest weight, I never would have approached Brian.
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W e all know that "fat-shaming" is wrong. No one should be disadvantaged or ridiculed for their weight. Positive progress, certainly. But what about the flipside: why is skinny-shaming OK, if fat-shaming is not? A few years ago when I worked in publishing, we'd gather for weekly commissioning meetings in the boardroom. There would be platters of pastries along the table. A senior colleague — a lovely woman in her 50s — would always urge me, loudly, to have a croissant. She would prod me in the side, in a friendly manner, and say: "Look, she's nothing but skin and bone!
About two thirds of people in the US are either overweight or obese 1. However, there are also many people with the opposite problem of being too skinny 2. Being underweight is defined as having a body mass index BMI below This is estimated to be less than the body mass needed to sustain optimal health. Use this calculator to see where you fit on the BMI scale opens in a new tab. However, keep in mind that there are many problems with the BMI scale, which only looks at weight and height.
